New psychology research shows the surprising romantic advantage of antagonistic narcissism

New research reveals that people who exhibit a specific, hostile form of narcissism are more likely to secure a second date, while other types of narcissists actually struggle to make a good impression. The findings suggest that the initial dating environment may inadvertently reward antagonistic traits while penalizing individuals who display vulnerable forms of self-centeredness. The research was published in the Journal of Personality.

Pop culture frequently warns about the dangers of dating a narcissist. People often assume that individuals with highly inflated self-views have an easy time initiating romantic connections due to an abundance of superficial charm. Past psychological investigations have largely supported this idea by examining narcissism as a single, broad category.

Contemporary psychology views narcissism as a condition with multiple distinct dimensions. Psychologists typically divide the trait into two primary branches known as vulnerable and grandiose narcissism. Vulnerable narcissism involves exceptionally low self-esteem, a tendency to identify as a victim, and regular experiences of shame or anger.

Grandiose narcissism features an intense sense of superiority and bold social confidence. Researchers have recently started splitting grandiose narcissism into two separate routes that people use to maintain their inflated self-image. One route is admirative narcissism, which involves active self-promotion, charm, and a constant desire to be praised by others.

The second route is rivalrous narcissism. This involves deeply defensive and antagonistic behavior. People with elevated rivalrous traits tend to be highly aggressive, routinely put others down, and experience elevated levels of interpersonal hostility.

Psychology researcher Braden T. Hall at The University of Alabama led a team to investigate how these three specific traits influence initial romantic appeal. Hall and his colleagues, William Hart and Joshua T. Lambert, set out to test the real-world effectiveness of these distinct narcissistic profiles. They wanted to know if different types of narcissists genuinely excel at securing dates when placed in a face-to-face setting.

Previous investigations into this topic frequently relied on hypothetical scenarios or simple acquaintanceship tasks. The few prior speed-dating studies only measured broad grandiose narcissism and failed to differentiate between the admirative and rivalrous elements. By examining the three specific branches of the personality construct, the investigators hoped to capture a more accurate picture of initial romantic attraction. Grouping all grandiose narcissists together likely obscured the actual dynamics taking place during romantic introductions.

To test these different dimensions of personality, the researchers organized eight heterosexual speed-dating events. The study included 129 undergraduate students. Before attending the dating sessions, participants filled out extensive questionnaires to measure their personal levels of admirative, rivalrous, and vulnerable narcissism.

At the actual events, participants went on a series of individual three-minute dates. After each brief encounter, they rated their conversational partner on five specific characteristics. These characteristics included physical attractiveness, intelligence, humor, ambition, and kindness.

Evolutionary psychologists frequently consider these five attributes to be the absolute foundation of romantic attraction across human populations. They represent a potential mate’s overall warmth, basic vitality, and capacity to secure resources. Most importantly, the participants indicated whether they would like to go on a second date with the person they just evaluated.

The general results aligned with basic expectations about human attraction. Participants who were rated as highly attractive, intelligent, ambitious, humorous, or kind all received more requests for a second date. Intelligence and ambition proved to be exceptionally strong predictors of success specifically when women evaluated men.

When the researchers looked at the narcissism scores, the results defied standard expectations. People scoring higher in rivalrous narcissism received more requests for second dates than their peers. This happened even though rivalrous individuals are typically associated with aggressive behaviors that damage relationships over extended periods.

The investigators did not find that rivalrous individuals were rated as more attractive or kind by their partners. The study authors propose a few potential reasons for this unforeseen success. One possibility is that rivalrous people thrive in highly competitive environments and subtly put down others in the room to make themselves look socially superior.

Another possibility involves the appeal of a dark, rebellious identity. People might find the confident, rule-breaking attitude of a rivalrous person briefly attractive in a short encounter. The rigid politeness of a three-minute date might also prevent the truly aggressive elements of rivalrous narcissism from fully surfacing during an initial meeting.

Individuals scoring high in admirative narcissism experienced a completely different outcome. Although these individuals generally project charm and social boldness, they did not find greater success. In fact, women with elevated admirative narcissism received far fewer requests for a second date from men.

Men with high admirative narcissism saw no effect on their dating success. The researchers suspect that highly admirative individuals might come across as overly dominant or boastful. It is also possible that they seem unapproachable, prompting potential suitors to reject them prematurely to avoid the emotional pain of future rejection.

Vulnerable narcissists encountered the most difficulty in the dating pool. Participants with high scores in vulnerable narcissism received dramatically fewer requests for second dates. The data showed this happened largely because their dates rated them as less physically attractive and less humorous.

Vulnerable narcissism is closely linked to deep anxiety, depression, and a tendency to use self-defeating humor. The researchers suggest that this inner turmoil might manifest outwardly to a romantic prospect. High anxiety could make these individuals appear physically tense or prevent them from engaging in the lighthearted banter necessary for a successful initial date.

The researchers also noticed a behavioral pattern involving general selectivity. Participants who said yes to nearly everyone they met ended up receiving fewer positive responses in return. The investigators suspect that a lack of romantic selectivity causes an individual to appear desperate during the conversation.

The study presents a few limitations that require consideration. The speed-dating format relies on interactions lasting only three minutes. While rivalrous narcissists appear capable of maintaining an appealing mask for a short window, their toxic traits practically guarantee relationship instability over time.

The research team also relied on a sample of college students from the United States. This population might not represent dating behaviors across different age groups or diverse cultural backgrounds. In addition, the participants generally scored below the extreme high end of the rivalrous narcissism scale.

Future observational work could track relationships over weeks or months to see when the initial charm of rivalrous narcissism begins to wear off. Additional studies might also evaluate participants using reports from close friends, rather than depending uniquely on self-reported questionnaires.

The study, “Do Narcissistic People Have More Dating Success? Evidence From a Speed-Dating Study,” was authored by Braden T. Hall, William Hart, and Joshua T. Lambert.